The Coon Chronicles: Part 4

Here is the fourth installment of the Coon Chronicles. Are you bored yet?





This happened approximately 4 or 5 years ago. I was asked to be a guest artist for a fabulous Tina Turner event going on at Northwestern University. A friend of mine, Doug, (who happens to be a lovely guy who is CRAZY for Tina Turner) was attending school there and heading up this project. It was comprised of mostly students except for another guest artist and myself.

Doug assigned us all songs "a la Tina" & I was so impressed by how professional & efficient the entire thing was organized. He hired a band, had a stage manager, arranged all of the music…everything! We even discussed costumes. I guess I didn’t expect this much from an extra curricular college project. Boy, was I wrong! Actually, Doug is quite amazing & I knew it from the time I first worked with him at Wagon Wheel Theatre. I just finished up a show with him recently & he just keeps getting better & better….which is saying a lot because he’s a GENIUS!

Anyhoo, I digress.

So, the song I was assigned was Tina Turner’s version of “The Acid Queen” from The Who’s Tommy (the movie version.)
KICK. ASS.
And there were some AMAZING performers there! And holy crap…was that FUN!

I remember we had 2 shows every night we performed. I think one @ 8pm & one @ 11pm. The crowds went wild & they loved the performances. But in between shows, I needed to occupy myself. So, Doug took it upon his cute self to entertain a few of us. He brought us to the student food court & we all grabbed a table.

Doug had a food card that he was using to buy coffee & snacks for us. He & a bunch of other performers went up to the counter to place their orders. I had to put my bag down at the table.

All of a sudden, I hear Doug SHOUTING from across the dining area “Hey COON! Do you want anything?” ‘

Silence.
The whole place stopped what they were doing & looked at Doug.

I, having been accustomed to people calling me that, forget sometimes that this is not a GOOD thing to shout in a dining room. But, I caught it this time. And I was so stupid because all I thought of to say was “SSHHHHHHHH!”

um…yeah.You’d think I would have something witty prepared to say regarding it being my last name by now…but no.

By the time I walked up to the counter & joined Doug, the girl behind the counter was totally pissed. She, of course, happened to be African American. I was ridiculously speechless at this point. She was just GLARING at Doug. I was holding back laughter because I think she wanted to kick his ass. Kinda one of those similar-to-my-dad moments from the Coon Chronicles: Part One. Runs in the family, I guess.

Finally, one of the other performers tried to calm down the girl behind the counter saying in a hushed tone “It’s her last name! Coon. C-o-o- ...Ah, never mind.”

Welcome to my world.

So, the moral of the story is, if we are ever hanging out together in a public place, please THINK before you start shouting my name every where. Otherwise people look at you funny. Or they might want to hurt you. Hanging out with me can be dangerous!